Good and Evil : God and Us

I have always thought that suffering makes theologians of us all. In times of crisis or despair, we turn to religious traditions or an intuitive sense of meaning to understand our experience.

The last few years of our social history — including the election of an unfit president, whose term culminated in an attempted insurrection at our nation’s capital, repeated police killings of Black men in the streets of our cities, an increasingly visible global climate emergency, and a two-plus year COVID-19 pandemic — has so disturbed our sense of human progress, justice, and order, that we have few words with which we can describe our current discomfort.

Look around you. There is no shortage of meaning making going on. Some feel a growing loss of personal power and blame Black and brown people for it all. They hoard guns and show up at street protests and state capitals armed with assault weapons. For others, anxious times call for self-protection and isolation, so they move their families ever farther away from people, stocking their bank accounts and pantry shelves so that they might turn away from the world’s chaos. Still others have chosen to frame the simple public health concept of wearing face masks in public as an assault on their personal freedom, joining vehicle convoys that clog the highways and city streets.

And then there are the rest of us. We are exhausted and worried, but still showing up for our jobs, checking in with parents in Florida, getting to the grocery store, and trying to help our kids through another unusual school year. We are just trying to figure it out.

Now the despot leader of Russia has launched an invasion of Ukraine. This country was once part of the former Soviet Union, but since that change 30 years ago has been proudly independent. Death, displacement, and destruction are the consequences of this war, begun by the maniacal greed of one man and his government. As the world responds to assist Ukraine, he threatens to use Russian nuclear weapons.

While we may be half a world away, media bring views of this suffering and chaos right into our homes. Many of us, already exhausted by the demands of the pandemic have felt an increased sense of helplessness in the face of such evil. The age-old question of evil looms large again. Where is God in this terribly broken human world? Can we expect God to be of any real help? If not, what’s the use of belief? Looking up from our televisions and laptops at one another, we wonder how all this makes any kind of sense. And then we try.

Here’s my try.

Invasions during peacetime are acts of evil. While such chaos can seem like a supernatural force, it’s not: evil is us, an embodied human event. It’s not some personified being or invisible spirit, at loose in the world, stalking the vulnerable, harassing the faithful. Evil is humans raging and running others over seeking power, seeking to hurt, get revenge, control, land, influence or prestige. Embodied evil kills lives, families, buildings, bridges, economies, history and fragile trust.

So then, where is God? We can look for God in the same embodied way. God is spirit until God embodies love in us. God is made visible, discernable, when human beings act with care, compassion, and justice. Halfway around the world, we can embody God for our Ukrainian neighbors: we can contribute money to relief efforts, we can pray, uniting our spiritual and mental energies toward peace. We can open our minds to the necessary political support of human refugees and migrants everywhere, waves of people just like us, fleeing their own land for basic safety.

As a Christian, this is my theodicy, my understanding of a divine, omniscient God in a chaotic and sometimes evil world: God can only be really known in our world when embodied: in words, relationships, and actions of human love, mercy, and justice.

This is how we see God, and how I understand who Jesus was: the unique embodiment of God’s being. In the daily struggle to be human, may love guide your decisions. That’s where you will find the divine.

(Published originally for the Savage Pacer March 14, 2022)

Gendered: “girl culture 2”

One of my colleagues was raised by her father. While he was in the military, she experienced many different global cultures, and was raised around men. She mentioned to me that while she understood what I was talking about in my first Gendered post, she wasn’t raised in that way. She was raised by a man and that experience made her emotional and communication patterns different than most American women. More masculine, we could say. Makes complete sense.

What she then said was that her more unique direct and simple speaking style has often brought her the experience of rejection and judgment by women, even close friends, who were socialized to be constantly circumspect, people pleasing and perfectionistic in all relational matters.

She has been called “angry,” “too direct,” and other unpleasant words of judgment by women. She has experienced looks of surprise and body language of distancing and distain while talking in professional meetings, therapy settings and social outings. I have encouraged her to write a personal response to my post so I can add it here.

I, too, have been cautioned against speaking my mind even by my Midwestern-Lutheran-socialized-by-awfully-nice-people-30-years-together spouse. We have even disagreed on something as simple as whether we ought to say our opinion to family members or even more horrifying, friends. Socially, he will almost always choose the grin and bear it or simply ignore it route. Me? I’d rather find a nice enough way to speak my mind. I spend enormous amounts of time in my mind trying to suss out the right way to say what I am thinking so I don’t lose connection to those around me. (I’ve been doing that as I write, edit and re-edit this post.) Even with all that internal sifting, no doubt some have and will call me a bitch behind my back.

But you would never do that, would you gentle woman reader? Become automatically uncomfortable when a colleague, boss, friend or loved one violated those carefully maintained but invisible gender norms. Provide some emotional feedback? Subtly step back in disapproval? Most of the most painful comments and betrayals of trust I experienced as a female pastor throughout the years were from other women in my social and leadership circles.

While most of us are struggling to wake up to our inherited and unearned privilege of race and economic status in contemporary America, may I be among those who bang the gender drum at the same time. Inherited gender roles are reinforced every day, without reflection, and women are the ones who seem to have the most at stake when other women don’t obey the rules.

Let us wake up and act up. We have been controlled and socialized by rigid expectations about our bodies, our biology, our fertility, our parenting and caretaker roles and yet we have been at the head of the line when it comes to enforcing the rules. If we want freedom and opportunity for all, let us mean all. This freedom to be ourselves, no matter our gender identity, is what I believe feminism is about. Call me a feminist. And then ask me to offer my point of view. I’m quite sure I’ll have one I can share.

Just Kidding…..Not

I’ve had the pleasure of being around girls in their early teens quite a lot the past few years, and I have noticed a quirky turn of their conversation that has got me thinking.

One girl in the midst of a conversation with another girl will say something critical, blunt, or even hostile;  pause;  and then follow up immediately with a smile and “Just kidding!” Thinking it might have been a style of humor unique to one (particular) girl I know very well, I listened for it when these girls were together in groups, or chatting back and forth on Facebook, or in conversations I overheard while driving or waiting for them (I’m always waiting for them).

Over and over the same pattern. Critique, “just kidding,” then the other girl usually follows with a response that might be equally snarly and if not met with a light heart and smile in return. The first girl might answer with another blunt remark. Et cetera. I’ve often wonder how these relationships survive this emotional dodge and weave. And the answer is, many don’t.

I think that this particular stage of relationship building, coupled with the rocketing growth of body and brain in this age of adolescent girls makes this a way that girls are able to manage aggression with one another. In the same way that adolescent boys may push, poke and even swing at one another on a daily basis, girls push, poke and swing with words, attitudes and facial expressions that emote hostility and aggression.

I’ve not been reading the adolescent literature lately, and so I can’t quote the latest author that has put this observation into article or book form: I guarantee someone has had this thought before me. But I wonder if any one who is around this age group (11-17) of girls from a different part of the US or outside our country shares this or a different observation.

I know a few readers of this blog are living around the world in quite different cultures. If you have an observation, comment below. I’d love to hear what you’re hearing! No kidding.