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Monogamy: It’s Not for Everybody

Monogamy: It’s Not for Everybody

Back in the day when I performed weddings, starry-eyed couples would come to my church office to do premarital counseling and plan their (elaborate) wedding ceremony. I guess I never stopped to consider it much, but I assumed, as did they, that the promise to be “faithful until death parts us” was seriously considered and solemnly promised before and during the wedding service. They only had eyes for one another. Yet, I knew that about half of all the weddings…

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Does Men’s ‘Bond’ with Porn Ruin Them for Real-Life Sex?

Does Men’s ‘Bond’ with Porn Ruin Them for Real-Life Sex?

The instant availability of pornography on the internet is a serious, life-altering problem for some people, leading to secrecy, shame, and addiction. It can ruin a marriage, and ruin a life. But what of the rest of pornography’s casual users? Research is beginning to point to the problem of disconnect for men from real sexual experience with their live partners. Men (who are the heaviest users of pornography of all kinds) can become so accustomed to the rush and impersonal…

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The Two-Faith Marriage

The Two-Faith Marriage

            For thousands of years, people have expected their children to marry within their family faith and culture. Family life, in its largest sense, is easier this way. Marriage partners are easier to find among shared communities like synagogues, mosques, parochial schools or parishes; families know more about each other and often form smoother in-law relationships. Religious rituals bind partners to preceding generations as well as to their future children and to one another. All the thousand small, nearly invisible…

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Not So Fast

Not So Fast

I’m not sure I have anything useful to add when it comes to discussing the extra-marital affairs of Tiger Woods. The whole wide world has been writing and talking about him, and I will say I am now officially bored. (I’d rather talk about actor Meredith Baxter, Alex Keaton’s “Mom” on sit-com Family Ties, who disclosed the same day Tiger came clean, that she is now officially out as a lesbian. She was afraid to talk on national TV, but…

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How To Marry Well

How To Marry Well

The best marriages are made by people who begin their relationship as friends and use friendship as their marriage model. Do you know how to make and keep a friendship? Listen and talk, share work and pleasure, respond to a friend’s bids for attention, and get some attention back? Laugh and enjoy each other, be flexible when things don’t work out, fix your disagreements, stay loyal but open to other people in your friend’s life?  If you do, and can…

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